March 23 2011

ok , today i go for work...
around 10.30 my dad fetch me to school...
to take my SPM result...
i'm so nervous during all the day in the office , in the car , until i walk to the school canteen..
the feeling...
I was hardly to breathe...
and my heart jump cant stop beating...
duguen duguen...
very very fast....
When is my turn to take my result..
I dont dare to look at my result....
i cover the result with an envelope....
then my couseling teacher come and she says she want to see my result...
i show it to her...but i still dont dare to look at my result...
and then...i bravely look at my result....
and i cant believe that i will get 6A n 3B...
my friends is very happy with their result esp HPY n PSL...
both of them cry looking at their result...
PY gives me a hug and i congratulate her...

getting 6A for my SPM result...
i feel nothing...
i really feel nothing...
because from the starting...
i never hope to get any A...
is not that i wan to proud or arrogant about...
but the truth is...
i really dont wish for that much A's...
it is all because i know myself ...
i never study that very hard as compared to my other friends...
but i got these A's...
to say that the 6 A is for my parents....
6A is nothing for me...but for my parents...
although they look nothing in front me...
but i think , i know they are truly happy for me...
thanks god....

Next..i would like to write this to someone that is dearest to me..
i know how u feel...
but i just dont have the brave to confront n comfort u..
dear you ,
the feeling of urs...i can feel it...
you look so happy infront of us...
but u're actually deeply hurt inside ur heart...
you feel very dissapointed on what u wished never come true...
the feeling of *afraid* dissapoint ur family members , especially ur parents...
i know how it will be feel...
it will feel like , as you think you're useless...
because u wishes to be proud for them with the reward u get...
but in return , it was vice versa...
dear you ,
dont be affect by what those B!TCH TALKS ABOUT IT !
B!TCH ARE FKING KP!
EVERYTHING THAT B!TCH TALKS ARE RUBBISH !
THEY THOUGH THEY ARE VERY PROUD ENOUGH TO TEASE OTHER PPL !
but let me tell you...
in my eyes , THOSE B!TCH ARE NEVER EXISTS !!!!
because , they only know how to laugh and tease the ppl...
they dont even know how to respect a person...
dear you ,
u had tried ur best for all the time....
eventhough u never get what u want...
but still u have to prove more that u can do it...
a failure is not those who failed many times in doing things...
but a failure is those who are giving up after they failed sometimes...
dont be worry...
everything will be alright....
look forward...step infront...
dont because of what u get , u become unhappy...
there is NOT only a path u can walk in a street...
there are still many other path that are related together in a street...
dont only look at what u have now....
u have to change n search what are ur future for....
and i know....
ur family members love u...
they know what u have and what u dont have...
so , please don be dissapointed anymore....
be more strong n confidence...
there is always a light to an end...
and that's how the light bring u to a better life....
be strong my dear...
u can do it someday...
never give up , ok?
take care...
if i had say something wrong...i apologies...
these words are truly sincere from the bottom of my heart...